Overcoming Rejection & Negativity
"Can't act, can't sing, balding. Can dance a little"
This now famous proclamation was made by a producer in Hollywood after a Fred Astaire screen test.
Harry Potter was rejected by eight publishers (and, as I understand it, it was an editorial assistant who went to bat for the book; the 'real' editor tossed it on the reject pile) before it was sold.
Colonel Sanders offered his chicken recipe to over 1,000 restaurant owners before one said 'yes'.
Of course these anecdotes truly resonate with us because we know the end of the story - and they're runaway-train successes.
As a writer, I hear these stories all the time: The NYT bestseller to whom a particularly mean-spirited editor or agent sent some variation of the message, "Don't quit your day job," or "Don't ever submit to me again - you're a lousy writer." Wow. Harsh and completely unnecessary. However, this type of commentary does happen.
So what to do?
Well, the first thing we can do - and again, this is one of those things that's much easier to say than to do - is to be determined not to take it personally. Yes, I know it's your book, your fledgling career, your baby. Whatever it is, it's a part of you, and it's so hard to take those kind of knocks without feeling deflated and hurt.
Still, you must find a way to do just that.
This is a tough business! (This phrase applies to almost any business.) Develop a tough skin.
Of course you hope no one is mean. But if they're mean, get over it. There are mean people in the world, and sometimes we come across them. Sometimes they have power over us, in that they might be able to decide whether or not we get published, whether or not we get the job, whether or not we make a sale.
You can't control that.
What you can control is how you react to what they say to you. No matter how kindly or horribly they're saying it, what they're really saying is, "No thank you." And you can choose to hear it that way.
The proper response is, "Thank you very much for your time and consideration. NEXT!" (I wouldn't recommend saying that last part out loud....)
Rejection is tough. Negativity is tough. Mean people suck (if you'll pardon the expression). But they're out there, all of them, and someday we're all going to come across them.
In my writers' group, we celebrate rejections. Rejections mean you're getting the work out there, and it means that you're producing work that can be sent.
Celebrate whatever work you're doing. Celebrate whatever steps you're taking. And if you come across any mean people along the way (perhaps I should say, when you come across mean people on the way), remind yourself that they only matter if they somehow dissuade you that your work doesn't matter.
So don't let them.
This now famous proclamation was made by a producer in Hollywood after a Fred Astaire screen test.
Harry Potter was rejected by eight publishers (and, as I understand it, it was an editorial assistant who went to bat for the book; the 'real' editor tossed it on the reject pile) before it was sold.
Colonel Sanders offered his chicken recipe to over 1,000 restaurant owners before one said 'yes'.
Of course these anecdotes truly resonate with us because we know the end of the story - and they're runaway-train successes.
As a writer, I hear these stories all the time: The NYT bestseller to whom a particularly mean-spirited editor or agent sent some variation of the message, "Don't quit your day job," or "Don't ever submit to me again - you're a lousy writer." Wow. Harsh and completely unnecessary. However, this type of commentary does happen.
So what to do?
Well, the first thing we can do - and again, this is one of those things that's much easier to say than to do - is to be determined not to take it personally. Yes, I know it's your book, your fledgling career, your baby. Whatever it is, it's a part of you, and it's so hard to take those kind of knocks without feeling deflated and hurt.
Still, you must find a way to do just that.
This is a tough business! (This phrase applies to almost any business.) Develop a tough skin.
Of course you hope no one is mean. But if they're mean, get over it. There are mean people in the world, and sometimes we come across them. Sometimes they have power over us, in that they might be able to decide whether or not we get published, whether or not we get the job, whether or not we make a sale.
You can't control that.
What you can control is how you react to what they say to you. No matter how kindly or horribly they're saying it, what they're really saying is, "No thank you." And you can choose to hear it that way.
The proper response is, "Thank you very much for your time and consideration. NEXT!" (I wouldn't recommend saying that last part out loud....)
Rejection is tough. Negativity is tough. Mean people suck (if you'll pardon the expression). But they're out there, all of them, and someday we're all going to come across them.
In my writers' group, we celebrate rejections. Rejections mean you're getting the work out there, and it means that you're producing work that can be sent.
Celebrate whatever work you're doing. Celebrate whatever steps you're taking. And if you come across any mean people along the way (perhaps I should say, when you come across mean people on the way), remind yourself that they only matter if they somehow dissuade you that your work doesn't matter.
So don't let them.
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